Serious Turkish food in the perfect bay-side location. And somehow they blew it.

Attention Channel 4. Bosphorus will make a perfect edition of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares in a couple of years. It's got all the ingredients - perfect location (in the middle, literally, of Cardiff Bay), wonderful design (bit like a lavishly decorated greenhouse) and a promising menu (meze, upmarket kebabs, exotic fish). Oh, and utter contempt for all its customers.

So, teaandbiscuits friends, unite and give Bosphorus what they deserve: a right old kicking. And here's why.
Time limits in restaurants are the machinations of Satan's maitre d'. When Bosphorus say you've only got two hours of their generous hospitality they mean that they will force an order out of you within seconds of arriving, they will follow a request for a second bottle of wine with 'does sir drink quickly enough for that?', and will thrust a bill into your hands when you're still eating dessert. It's not on, and we won't stand for it.

It could be so enjoyable. The interior is terrifically bright and colourful, and the wardrobe department did a great job on the waiters' waist-coats. The meze starter is not bad at all, if slightly dominated by sludgy dips, and do give the liver a go as a first course too (although there's far too much of it). There's a great range of meat and fish for main courses too. One warning - be wary of over-ordering. Many combinations of starter and main leave you with too much on your plate, literally. I'd suggest asking the waiters for advice, but they would probably sigh, look at their watches, and lament the fact that if they didn't have to fit any customers in at all it would all be so much easier.